All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another. – Anatole
Yes, change is inevitable. It happens, people change, circumstances change, relationships change. But as someone who is drawn to nostalgia, relationship changes are the hardest for me to digest. It is hard for me to stomach the why’s.
As an eternal optimist, I think I hold people to the expectation and greatness of when our relationship was working at our peak. In my mind: I have seen it work before, therefore it can work again. However, I fail at accepting the surrounding circumstances that change: being on different paths, growing apart, having different expectations and priorities, wanting different dynamics.
This nostalgia that I find myself stuck in creates great melancholy. And it hurts. It is hard for me to let go — to let that life die. I need to learn to accept that by doing so, it doesn’t suddenly discredit the good times. But my holding on, I am only suffering in the bad times and am only surrounding myself in the negative energy that I let this reality consume.
But to me, letting go will always equate to loss. And loss of a loved one requires death and grieving and moving on.
You cannot change the people around you, but you can change the people you choose to be around.
How do you let go? Have you found a process that works for you?