Yesterday after work and dinner, I laid down in bed because I felt a terrible migraine coming on. Ahh the monthly migraine.
Less than ten minutes after laying down, my phone rings. It is my mother. I pick up.
- “Are you at home? Do you want company?”
- “Yes. Company?”
- “What’s wrong?”
- “I have a headache.”
- “Can I come visit? Do you need a shoulder massage?”
And then she continues to explain why she wants to come hang out at my place for a while. My uncle is back in the hospital, for more infections. They took him to a hospital not far from my place and my mom wanted to be closer while she waited to see if my dad needed a ride home.
For most, this may seem normal, that their mom would call their grown daughter and want to come visit. But, I can count the times in which my mom has come to my apartment: 1) to help me move in, 2) to attend a party I hosted 3) to drop off items when I was sick and 4) last night. The relationship between my mother and I as an adult has seen more strains and valleys than bright spots.
Granted last night wasn’t because she simply wanted to see me, but as soon as she knew I wasn’t feeling well, her mother instinct kicked in. She offered to pick me up food, offered tips to make it better, etc etc.
So she came over and she massaged my head, neck and shoulders. In combination of the migraine relief medication I just took, her magical mom touch helped take the edge off.
And then we played Scrabble. I was in the lead for most of the game, and then she snuck ahead, within the last few plays. My dad called telling her she could drive back home, that he had a ride.
So after our game ended, she headed home, but not without giving me a long hug.
She had no idea how badly I needed that hug. She had no idea what I was about to do before she came over, and what I finished after.
I wrote a goodbye email, to a friend, ending a very long and deep and complicated relationship.
But of course she had no idea. She came to visit for something completely different, unrelated. But she was there when I needed her. One of those things that seem to happen often, between mothers and children. And for all the mothers out there, your children will ALWAYS need you, even at age 27.
And her hug confirmed: There is life after survival.
Her visit gave me the courage to proceed.
Two of my close girlfriends were providing support and feedback as I needed it.
And then after, Jak was there for me, ready with chocolate cake and milk and hugs.
And today I am thankful.
For my mom and the friends who were there to remind me I am loved, to offer encouragement and possibly to catch me in case I wasn’t strong enough.
So thank you.